Parenting from the Couch

I know I've been terrible about posting lately. I promised to be back if anything changed, and it did. So here I am. 2 weeks ago I had surgery on my ankle and I have to spend another 2 weeks off of it. Plus another 2 weeks after that in a walking cast. When I first learned that I'd have to be completely off my feet, I though that would be easy. No problem. Right. Try using one leg to lower yourself into the tub (the other leg can't get wet), or onto the potty. Not so easy. At least I don't have to use crutches all the time. Check out my new mode of transportation in the slideshow to the right. I know. You're jealous. Looks like fun, doesn't it? It kind of makes you a freak show on wheels though. You would not believe how many people stop and stare. Dead in their tracks, not even trying to hide the fact that they are staring. My favorite is when they burst out laughing. Nice. Do you laugh at people in wheelchairs too, people?

Anyway. Back on course here. Hubby has been very helpful, actually. I spend a lot of time on the couch with my foot up and my laptop in (where else?) my lap. My digital photos for the past 2 years have been labelled and organized, I've read 4 or 5 trashy novels, countless magazines, and I think I'm going to start making my Christmas cards now. I know sick.

The kids are getting used to me dictating from my couch throne. And sometimes they even listen. A positive side effect has been that they have become very independent in the mornings. They are up on time, dressed, brushed, make their own breakfasts, pack their own backpacks, and sometimes even their own lunches! It's so great. Last year mornings were never our best time. We were rushed, I was yelling at them to hurry, etc., etc. I'm not sure if it's the fact that they are older now (7 & 9), or if it's just that they don't have a choice. Whatever the reason for this latest upturn in behavior, I will take it! Maybe after my ankle is healed, I won't let the kids know. I'll keep sitting on the couch bossing them around. Whatever works, right?

Sometimes even the new same stuff seems ... the same.

I know, I know. It's been more than 2 months since I've contributed anything here, but honestly life has been so monotonous, it's even boring me. Summer days blend into one another and I am usually hard-pressed to even remember what day it is. I'm not whining, I promise. I'm just saying, if I think my life is boring right now - anyone taking the time to read this blog would find it even MORE boring. So I'll spare you all. I'll just keep doing laundry and dishes, feeding the kids, the cat, the gerbil, and the hermit crabs, taking care of the yard, the garden, the house, etc. etc. etc. If anything changes, you'll be the first to know. Promise.

Are you kidding me?

The Swine Flu is in Minnesota. Yay us. The governor had a lovely press conference this morning and advised us all that "there is cause for concern, but not panic." Why does everyone keep telling us not to panic, yet they are in our faces 24 hours a day about this damn flu? Will they tell us when it's time to panic? When one of my family members shows cold/flu-like symptoms, my 1st impulse is not to run to the doctor. How are we supposed to know the difference between a run-o-the-mill virus and this "possible pandemic?" I am just going to sit back and wait for it to show up in my kids' school, because for some reason I feel pretty certain that it will. There is a family in my neighborhood that just returned from visiting family in Mexico for the last month. Should I start wearing my surgical mask a-la Michael Jackson? Oh! And just an FYI, apparently we're supposed to be calling this the H1-N1 novel virus so as not to give our little piggy friends a bad rep. Whatever.

A Little Wine - ing

Okay. So let me just say that I am NOT a wine drinker. Everyone who knows me, is clear about the fact that I am a hard-liquor gal. Liquor is quicker. But my better half (who is reading over my shoulder right now and wondering what the H I'm doing) and I were at MGM today and as I cut through the wine aisle on the way to the checkout, a few of the labels stopped me in my tracks. They are too funny and clever! So, while I have no idea if they are any good, these wines get an A+ for creative names. Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form suggesting you run out and buy these wines. I don't know ANYTHING about them other than the fact that they have awesome names. Also - don't try to convert me to wine. Ain't gonna happen. Don't send me comments full of outrage that I don't like wine. Don't care. So. That being said, onto the great names I saw: First off, by now I'm sure everyone has heard of Bitch wine. Now I see we've added to that category with Royal Bitch and Bitch & Wine, and Bitter Bitch. Funny. Another clever name is the generic, plain white label with "Good Pinot Grigio" or "Good Merlot" written in black on it. I think though, my favorite would have to be Mommy's Time Out. I told hubby that our dentist (Dr. Fenske - she's awesome!) should copyright her term for wine - 'coping elixir'. That's awesome!

Catching up

I figured I had better write something in April before the month was over. This will be a random stream of consciousness blog (as opposed to my well organized and articulated prior posts). I was dumb enough yesterday to actually open a message in Facebook that I thought looked weird. Should have listened to that inner voice and hit delete, but no. I had to be curious. Well that curiosity let the Koobface virus into my Facebook account and laptop which then started sending messages to all of my friends on FB infecting even more computers with this lovely little virus. Once I had it, my laptop was taken over. I believe "turned into a zombie" is how the article in PCWorld put it. http://www.pcworld.com/article/155017/facebook_virus_turns_your_computer_into_a_zombie.html
It was kind of comical how I was trying to "beat" the virus by getting to emails and links I wanted before it could hijack my computer and reroute me to some fake "virus scan". Eventually, I was able to get rid of the stupid thing (with my smarty brother's help, of course). But I managed to waste most of the day on it. Of course, I can usually waste most of the day on the internet anyway, so it was really anything new! Ah technology. It's just so darn handy.

In other recent exciting news around here, it seems like the crappy economy and money woes are hitting most of my friends as well (please read that with appropriate sarcasm). I love my friends. They are THE best in the world and make me laugh just when I need it. One of my unnamed friends recently saw her therapist to talk about how to deal with her husband's depression and their general lack of money etc. The therapist asked the standard "Do you feel safe at home?" and my friend responded with "No. I'm afraid I'll trip on all the crap that's lying all over the house because I am sick of being the only one to pick anything up." She quickly found out that most therapists really don't have much of a sense of humor. They also don't think it's funny when you mention that you don't think of divorce, but you do think of killing your husband! Now I thought that was he-larious, but I guess Ms. Therapist didn't. I guess I have a warped sense of humor.

I also had another girls' weekend with my 2 pals who are responsible for all the shenanigans in my life. We basically went on a pub crawl from Albertville all the way up to Deerwood. Don't worry, there was a designated driver. We love townie bars and the townies in them. We found a new one in Longsiding, MN. Very fun. A stop at the Blue Goose, The Deerstand, Coach's Corner, and Spaulding House rounded out the evening. You really have to love a bar that hosts an evening called "ABC - Anything But Clothes" and the owner shows up in waders. That's it. Waders. No shirt, nothing under the waders. Just waders. He-larious. I'd say more but.... then I'd be killed, or worse yet - not allowed on any more girls' weekends! Eeeek!

Things that make me crabby

So I'm feeling a little irritable. It's probably a tich of PMS, but that's hard to say seeing as I have no uterus to confirm that hypothesis. Anyway - I thought I'd share my list of things that make me crabby with all of you.
1. Morning - specifically having to wake up.
2. People who talk to me in the morning.
3. Grocery shopping.
4. People who stop in the middle of an aisle at the grocery store and block all routes around
them.
5. Paying taxes.
6. Paying bills.
7. Not being independently wealthy.
8. Lack of motivation.
9. Inertia.
10. The new Facebook format.

Aaaah. I fell better already. Thanks for letting me vent.

Terribly sorry for the absence

Life happens and all that. First I couldn't access my blog because whenever I tried to log in, all these random windows would open up and gunk up my computer. Then I tried to stay away from my computer because my techno-phobe husband was giving me grief about blogging, emailing, facebooking - whatever! I'm sure I would 'talk' to him more if he was on Facebook. Then we went to Disney. Then my oldest child had his tonsils and adnoids removed and I was kinda busy taking care of him (or napping with him - you decide). Then my grandpa died and I was a little preoccupied with scanning over 400 photos of him and creating memory boards for his funeral. Now I find myself at home with a feverish kid (youngest) and in a bit of a funk. So - I'll turn to my blog and let it all out.... hope it helps. In the meantime, here are some photos of what I've been up to lately. Here is a pic of the last time I danced with my grandpa. One of the CUTEST children ever - in their Christmas outfits ala Grandma Pam. Our little family in the Magic Kingdom. Me in the High School Musical 3 show at Disney MGM, me with Capt. Jack Sparrow, me buying out the Bacardi store in Nassau, and just for fun - a photo of my doppelganger. No, that last one is not really me - my uncle saw the photo on a beer fest website in Wisconsin and thought it looked just like me. Weird, huh? I know I'd like her - she's got a drink in her hand and she's stompin' grapes. Plus, I really like her hair. Well, that outta keep you entertained for a little while. Tune in again for some emotional purging - or not.

Bowling .... I wish for dollars!

I know that when I tell people I'm on a bowling league, they immediately wonder if I live in a trailer. Well, I don't. I love to bowl. There. I said it. It's out in the open. Judge me if you want, but it's fun and what other sport encourages so much beer drinking of its participants? Besides, I have my own purple, pink, and blue swirly ball and my very own Pink bowling shoes. Stylin'. My average is only 122 but I think that might have changed after last week when I bowled a 143, a 165 and yes, a 197!! Impressive, I know. I'm going to try to sneak a few photos of some of the AWESOME early 80's hairdos I see at the lanes tonite to share with you. AN added bonus to my Sunday evening bowling league? The bar has karoake afterwards and it is THE WORST karoake I have ever had the enjoyment of listening to. These sad folks bring in their own karoake cd collections and belt it out like they are American Idols. Not even close - I can sing better and I ain't no singer!! Sometimes it's just good to be bad, I guess.

Still a little sketchy, but I can make it work!

Well friends, I just successfully posted a comment for the 1st time in over 2 weeks. It feels good to be back - those of you I comment on may feel differently ;) The little people who live in my computer and make things work must have been on holiday.